Day 28
Today is the day my princess is born. She is turning 2 this year. As what i had expected. He wouldn't be back this early and even extended his stay till Mid March. I am devasted when i heard this.... I really really hate him for leaving me all alone in SG for so long.
Actually i am not unhappy because of his extend but just that i hate it when in the first place he told me he can come back either early or at least on time 2-Mar but till the very very last min i was being told extended till Mid March and was only when i asked him then he told me.
It was like giving me hope to see him soon but ended up it didn't came true... I was desperatly looking forward to 2-Mar and I even marked on my office calander but today I made a very big red cross on 2-Mar.
I think i will not count down till 13-March, just let the days goes on it's own.
I cannot bear myself to talk to him after that cos i know we would end up quarreling again. SIghz.....
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Darling Joelle, Mami know tomorrow is your 2nd birthday.
Mami wish you a very happy and lovely birthday.. even though i can;t be with you.'
Must remember mami really really lov e you. Mami also wish to ce,ebrate the birthday with you but too bad i can;t
Mami promise you on your 3rd brithday i willl no matter whatjust to be with you...'
I love you joelle... you must be good.. see you next yr in SG.. By then i will alwasy be with u.....
LOve you and happy birthday my girll...... Mami miss you so much.....
Mami wish you a very happy and lovely birthday.. even though i can;t be with you.'
Must remember mami really really lov e you. Mami also wish to ce,ebrate the birthday with you but too bad i can;t
Mami promise you on your 3rd brithday i willl no matter whatjust to be with you...'
I love you joelle... you must be good.. see you next yr in SG.. By then i will alwasy be with u.....
LOve you and happy birthday my girll...... Mami miss you so much.....
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Terrible Headache
Day 26
I woke up with a terrible headache today. The pain was so intense that i could not even moved my head to hard.
Thinking of taking MC for today but even though if i stay at home i had nothing much to do also. So i decided to go for work instead. (Better to save up my MCs and leaves)
Last night was another sleepless night for me. Actually by 10.30pm i was already feeling very sleeping. But once when i hit the slacks, i became fresh.. my mind starts to get very very actively... Tried to force myself to turn off my mind but couldn't...
I look at the clock... gosh !!! 2.30am... i think no choice have to take 1/2 sleeping pills and the finally i managed to sleep...
Actually i am really looking forward to my Taiwan trip in April. This time my best buddy Suzanne and her hubby will be going with us too.
But what i am afraid of this last min he can't make it due to work again.. Haiz..
But i think i will still proceed to book the tour and will decide again when times comes...
I woke up with a terrible headache today. The pain was so intense that i could not even moved my head to hard.
Thinking of taking MC for today but even though if i stay at home i had nothing much to do also. So i decided to go for work instead. (Better to save up my MCs and leaves)
Last night was another sleepless night for me. Actually by 10.30pm i was already feeling very sleeping. But once when i hit the slacks, i became fresh.. my mind starts to get very very actively... Tried to force myself to turn off my mind but couldn't...
I look at the clock... gosh !!! 2.30am... i think no choice have to take 1/2 sleeping pills and the finally i managed to sleep...
Actually i am really looking forward to my Taiwan trip in April. This time my best buddy Suzanne and her hubby will be going with us too.
But what i am afraid of this last min he can't make it due to work again.. Haiz..
But i think i will still proceed to book the tour and will decide again when times comes...
Monday, February 23, 2009
Regarding the dreams.
Ever remember that i keep having the similar dream.....
Now i think why i always has it.. It might be due to previous incident while i just started the relationship together..
But since i had promised him i will forget about this incident and never ever bring it up again.. But i cannot bluff myself that this incident will forever stay in my mind. (Able to forgive but unable to forget).................
Now i think why i always has it.. It might be due to previous incident while i just started the relationship together..
But since i had promised him i will forget about this incident and never ever bring it up again.. But i cannot bluff myself that this incident will forever stay in my mind. (Able to forgive but unable to forget).................
False Hope Again
Day 24
Actually been looking forward to 2nd March... But just now when i checked with him again... He said maybe delay another 1 week longer...
My world came crushing down again when i heard it... I thought i will cry, waiting for tears to flow down my checks.. But surprisingly.. it didn't...
I just got this feeling .. a very sourly feeling inside me... i just shut myself, i don't want to quarrel with him because of this again i don't want to be unreasonable.
So the only thing i can do is to keep it to myself.. pop more sleeping pills again and drift off to sleep.
I simply don't understand men... Is work really so important? Do some couples able to be seperate for so long?
I always tell Suzanne (1 of my closest buddy) .. i really envy her alot.. she gets to spend quality time with her kids in US.. Kinda tired but she can see the milestones of her kids growing up...
Actually been looking forward to 2nd March... But just now when i checked with him again... He said maybe delay another 1 week longer...
My world came crushing down again when i heard it... I thought i will cry, waiting for tears to flow down my checks.. But surprisingly.. it didn't...
I just got this feeling .. a very sourly feeling inside me... i just shut myself, i don't want to quarrel with him because of this again i don't want to be unreasonable.
So the only thing i can do is to keep it to myself.. pop more sleeping pills again and drift off to sleep.
I simply don't understand men... Is work really so important? Do some couples able to be seperate for so long?
I always tell Suzanne (1 of my closest buddy) .. i really envy her alot.. she gets to spend quality time with her kids in US.. Kinda tired but she can see the milestones of her kids growing up...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thursday / 19-Feb-2009
Day 20
I thought I should be getting used to it but don't know why, these few nights cannot really fall asleep even Joelle is beside me. I keep tossing and turning in bed. And also feeling very lonely.. I think is because i knew Joelle is going back this saturday and I am again alone..............
Feeling so tired
I thought I should be getting used to it but don't know why, these few nights cannot really fall asleep even Joelle is beside me. I keep tossing and turning in bed. And also feeling very lonely.. I think is because i knew Joelle is going back this saturday and I am again alone..............
Feeling so tired
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Wednesday / 19-Feb-2009
Day 19
I really don't understand why i keep having this similar dream over and over again.
Last night i dream that he was actually unfaithful to me. He had alot of secrets which i only found out in the dream. And the girl which appeares in my dream was actaully my secondary school friend. But funny thing was this girl was not even the closest friend of mine. She just happen to be a hi & bye friend which wasn't even the same class as me.
In my dream, he is staying with her, even if i brought along Joelle he didn't even care... I woke up breaking into cold sweat.. My whole body shivered... I wanted to cry but i can't.. I am very very moody for the rest of the morning...
Few weeks ago, i also had a dream which he is unfaithful to me. In that dream, i caught him on a shopping trip with a girl, but i cannot remember who that party was... the dream show that i caught him carrying lots of shopping bags for the girl and i confronted him and ask him whose $ did he used to spend on the girl... and he told me was from our joint account!! This made my blood boil... and then i woke up..
With those dreams I don't know whether was I feeling too insecured. It's been almost 3 weeks since I we had last been together. But we did still make a point to call up each other during weekdays...
I really really don't understand.. Everytime when i woke up having such kinds of dreams, i feel very depressed. Wonder if I need to see a "shrink" about it.
I really don't understand why i keep having this similar dream over and over again.
Last night i dream that he was actually unfaithful to me. He had alot of secrets which i only found out in the dream. And the girl which appeares in my dream was actaully my secondary school friend. But funny thing was this girl was not even the closest friend of mine. She just happen to be a hi & bye friend which wasn't even the same class as me.
In my dream, he is staying with her, even if i brought along Joelle he didn't even care... I woke up breaking into cold sweat.. My whole body shivered... I wanted to cry but i can't.. I am very very moody for the rest of the morning...
Few weeks ago, i also had a dream which he is unfaithful to me. In that dream, i caught him on a shopping trip with a girl, but i cannot remember who that party was... the dream show that i caught him carrying lots of shopping bags for the girl and i confronted him and ask him whose $ did he used to spend on the girl... and he told me was from our joint account!! This made my blood boil... and then i woke up..
With those dreams I don't know whether was I feeling too insecured. It's been almost 3 weeks since I we had last been together. But we did still make a point to call up each other during weekdays...
I really really don't understand.. Everytime when i woke up having such kinds of dreams, i feel very depressed. Wonder if I need to see a "shrink" about it.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Monday / 16-Feb-2009
Day 17
It was a Monday morning again. Another fresh week.
Although my hubby was not able to spend the Valentine's day with me, but he still remember to send me a bunch of flowers to my office the day before Valentine's day.
The flowers was beautiful and the bear was sweet. Come to think of it this was the first time i received flowers from him during my 5 yrs marriage to him.
Would appreciated it very much.
Yesterday my MIL bring Joelle back to SG to stay for 1 week. It's been almost 2 weeks since i last saw her.
And i notice she did grew taller and knows alot of words.. She can almost say a full sentence but in Chinese....
Mm.. i think it should be ok lah, since she is going for her tots house classes next yr. Hope it would be too late for her to start.
Oh ya, Daryl mention during the call yesterday that he might be back fews days earlier, am really looking forward to see him as I missed him too much.
And am glad that this time i had learned to be much independent without him.
"Jia You"
It was a Monday morning again. Another fresh week.
Although my hubby was not able to spend the Valentine's day with me, but he still remember to send me a bunch of flowers to my office the day before Valentine's day.
The flowers was beautiful and the bear was sweet. Come to think of it this was the first time i received flowers from him during my 5 yrs marriage to him.
Would appreciated it very much.
Yesterday my MIL bring Joelle back to SG to stay for 1 week. It's been almost 2 weeks since i last saw her.
And i notice she did grew taller and knows alot of words.. She can almost say a full sentence but in Chinese....
Mm.. i think it should be ok lah, since she is going for her tots house classes next yr. Hope it would be too late for her to start.
Oh ya, Daryl mention during the call yesterday that he might be back fews days earlier, am really looking forward to see him as I missed him too much.
And am glad that this time i had learned to be much independent without him.
"Jia You"
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tuesday 10-Feb-2009
Funny weather recently!!! This afternoon was so damm hot but at around 4pm, the sky starts to turn very gloomy...
I spend my last weekend playing Majong with friends... This is the first time i am playing without my dear around... And guess what.. 1st day i loose 40 but on the second day I won 60+.. (WOW)...
Hehe so happy with myself... I bring my mum to Bishan and treat her for a bowl of deserts and have a "heart to heart" talk.. am so glad that I have a mum who loves me so much.... At night she cook alot of my favourite dishes for me and I had a very very full dinner.
And then Sunday evening.. it's back to home alone again.. :(
I spend my last weekend playing Majong with friends... This is the first time i am playing without my dear around... And guess what.. 1st day i loose 40 but on the second day I won 60+.. (WOW)...
Hehe so happy with myself... I bring my mum to Bishan and treat her for a bowl of deserts and have a "heart to heart" talk.. am so glad that I have a mum who loves me so much.... At night she cook alot of my favourite dishes for me and I had a very very full dinner.
And then Sunday evening.. it's back to home alone again.. :(
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Friday / 06-Feb-2009
Day 6
I spend the whole night in the intenet searching for the song title " My Love Will Get You Home " Mp3 yesterday.
But so luckly am I to found it on a website name "ichic" something something....
Send to him via email, and he thank me for it...
Sense that this time he is not so happy abt this business trip. Heard from him that those K****** guys complain on him..
Sighz.. think work is like that bah and i just told him, get the job done and come back...
It's been 1 week since he left.. hehe and i managed on my own quite well.. Tonight will be spend at my ex-collegue house playing "MJ"
Just to pass some extra time actually... Don't really enjoy playing...
And Sat / Sun will be at my brother's house... Not going in to see Joelle.. decided to give myself a week break and rest...
"Joelle.. mammiwill see you most probably next weekend... Be good girl.. Mammi loves you!!"
I spend the whole night in the intenet searching for the song title " My Love Will Get You Home " Mp3 yesterday.
But so luckly am I to found it on a website name "ichic" something something....
Send to him via email, and he thank me for it...
Sense that this time he is not so happy abt this business trip. Heard from him that those K****** guys complain on him..
Sighz.. think work is like that bah and i just told him, get the job done and come back...
It's been 1 week since he left.. hehe and i managed on my own quite well.. Tonight will be spend at my ex-collegue house playing "MJ"
Just to pass some extra time actually... Don't really enjoy playing...
And Sat / Sun will be at my brother's house... Not going in to see Joelle.. decided to give myself a week break and rest...
"Joelle.. mammiwill see you most probably next weekend... Be good girl.. Mammi loves you!!"
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Wednesday / 04-Feb-2009
Day 6
Oh dear, i woke up late again for work. Took a cab to work again. (Sigh, must make it a point to wake up earlier)
I still didn't feel right.... My nose is still runny, my throat hurts, my head spin...
Dear... I think i better see another doctor today after work...
I really feel like taking MC today to really rest at home, but my collegue who is going on for ML soon. So i have to back up her area... Sigh!! I think see how the doctor says tonight.
Another 10 days to Valentine's day, and this would be the 1st time i am spending it without my valentine..
Actually it doesn't really matters much to me lah, almost all the time is just a dinner to end the night.. (no flowers / gifts) But this yr i think i suspect I might be receiving something from him.. Hehehe...
So stay tune!!
Oh dear, i woke up late again for work. Took a cab to work again. (Sigh, must make it a point to wake up earlier)
I still didn't feel right.... My nose is still runny, my throat hurts, my head spin...
Dear... I think i better see another doctor today after work...
I really feel like taking MC today to really rest at home, but my collegue who is going on for ML soon. So i have to back up her area... Sigh!! I think see how the doctor says tonight.
Another 10 days to Valentine's day, and this would be the 1st time i am spending it without my valentine..
Actually it doesn't really matters much to me lah, almost all the time is just a dinner to end the night.. (no flowers / gifts) But this yr i think i suspect I might be receiving something from him.. Hehehe...
So stay tune!!
Tuesday / 3-Feb-2009
Day 5
Hey, forget to blog last night... Been soo tired from all the mediciation recently so went for a facial last night after work.
Quite relaxing in the begining but towards the end while squeezing the blackheads out was terrible.
The consultan also did a shoulder massage for me.. She told me my muscles on the shoulder was very very stiff.
I guess was due to late nights and stress recently.
But anyway, after the facial i felt kinda better.
Oh yah, called Joelle last night, she's so cute.. i think she really tried her best to communicate with me as she keeps on blahing away on the phone.. (haha) but too bad, didn't really understand what she is trying to tell me.
So i said : " You must be a good girl, must eat food when you are hungry ok " and her reply was " OKIE " haha...
Really really miss her.. " Joelle, mummy really really miss you!! "
Hey, forget to blog last night... Been soo tired from all the mediciation recently so went for a facial last night after work.
Quite relaxing in the begining but towards the end while squeezing the blackheads out was terrible.
The consultan also did a shoulder massage for me.. She told me my muscles on the shoulder was very very stiff.
I guess was due to late nights and stress recently.
But anyway, after the facial i felt kinda better.
Oh yah, called Joelle last night, she's so cute.. i think she really tried her best to communicate with me as she keeps on blahing away on the phone.. (haha) but too bad, didn't really understand what she is trying to tell me.
So i said : " You must be a good girl, must eat food when you are hungry ok " and her reply was " OKIE " haha...
Really really miss her.. " Joelle, mummy really really miss you!! "
Monday, February 2, 2009
Monday / 02-Feb-2009
Day 4
Woke up at 8am.. Goshh... am late for work...
Had a quick fresh up and took a cab to work... Reach office around 8.45pm.. luckly most of my collegue is not in yet..
Made myself a coffee and started my day!
Time : 5.46pm.. (another 10mins till end of the day)
Nothing much at work.. had a peaceful day..
Meeting Caiyu for dinner later at Sunplaza (to kill some time)...
Maybe going for a shoulder massage later too... (getting stiff muscles from the stress recently)..
End of the day!
Woke up at 8am.. Goshh... am late for work...
Had a quick fresh up and took a cab to work... Reach office around 8.45pm.. luckly most of my collegue is not in yet..
Made myself a coffee and started my day!
Time : 5.46pm.. (another 10mins till end of the day)
Nothing much at work.. had a peaceful day..
Meeting Caiyu for dinner later at Sunplaza (to kill some time)...
Maybe going for a shoulder massage later too... (getting stiff muscles from the stress recently)..
End of the day!
Sunday / 01-Feb-2009
Day 3 since he left for Korea....
At first thinking of staying at my brother's house till he comes back.
But i realise that everything is very inconvient for all of us.
No choice, went back to my own house last night...
Reaches home around 11pm.. Took a quick shower and lie myself on bed..
Oh ya before that i took some "medicine" from my mum, she told me it will help me to relax and sleep.. Soon... i feel myself drifting off.............to sleep!
At first thinking of staying at my brother's house till he comes back.
But i realise that everything is very inconvient for all of us.
No choice, went back to my own house last night...
Reaches home around 11pm.. Took a quick shower and lie myself on bed..
Oh ya before that i took some "medicine" from my mum, she told me it will help me to relax and sleep.. Soon... i feel myself drifting off.............to sleep!
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